To Annie, please:For everything from rides across town to hours-long sessions of ranting to favors that always seem urgent, my brother depends on me for support. His requests seem to be increasing in frequency lately. Since I don’t want to offend him or leave him hanging when he’s going through a difficult time, I always say yes, even when I’m worn out or overwhelmed.
I don’t want to be forced to decline him. I enjoy supporting those close to me, especially my family.
In actuality, though, I’m beginning to feel bitter. Hearing from him instantly fills me with dread. Although I know that something needs to change, I’m not sure how to refuse him without endangering our friendship or making him feel unwelcome.
Why is it so difficult to establish limits with those you love? And how can I look after myself properly without feeling like I’m disappointing him? — Sick of Saying “Yes”
To Tired,You are down to the last drop from the sound of it, and you cannot pour from an empty cup. Saying, “I need some space to recharge,” is not rude. Good relationships are protected by boundaries, not destroyed. He will understand if he values you.
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